Here I Am

The Story Behind The Song, “Here I am”

This is a hard subject to write about. It’s about relationships, especially between people that care about each other.Isn’t this the part of our lives that can bring so much joy or so much pain? Nations have gone to war over relationships. People have left behind fortunes over love and relationships. And sadly, people throw away some of the greatest parts of there lives when they leave a loving relationship that has happiness written all over it.

We all have this incredible need to connect with someone and experience love on a level that is greater than ourselves. I’ll tell you right now…I feel that kind of love for my family! I would die for them if it were necessary. I believe most of us feel that way about our families.

I remember that feeling I’ve had after having a newborn child in my arms. It is so incredible! I understand the greatness of love that God must have for us. I would do anything to protect that child. This kind of love is so hard to describe.

Love is the greatest thing in life. It is so painful when you feel a relationship going poorly. The loss of love, for any reason, is heartbreaking. It is especially painful when you are the reason for that loss.

When you sacrifice that love for something else, something less… that’s when the real pain sets in. It’s sufficient to say that relationships are what rule our lives to a certain degree or another.

Now, I know I’m starting to sound like Dr. Phil here, but I’m trying to get to the point. Here’s what made me feel the inspiration behind this song:

I began to understand my relationship with my wife a little better this year. You see, she’s perfect and I am a slob. She really is smart, funny, talented, beautiful, spiritual, and did I say “right all the time?” Any way, I love her very much. Truthfully, she is above me and I admit it. That’s OK with me. A happy wife equals a happy life. Besides, I assert my manhood by demanding my own space for my shoes in the closet. She actually gave in.

All right, I’ll get serious.

After examining the inner workings of this crazy thing called marriage. I have come to the conclusion that there isn’t a more sacred and beautiful thing than this relationship.

I watched as one of my closest friends walked away from five children and a beautiful marriage to chase what he believed to be “a new life”. The saddest part of all this was the obvious devastation to the peripheral people in his life. His children’s and his wife’s hearts were shattered into seemingly irreparable pieces.

A few years later on in life he realized what he had done. As he awakened to his private Hell, he realized that the forgiveness process for him would be difficult with these people he walked out on. He explained the feelings he had and the incredible sorrow he felt as he went back to this woman and his children and tried to convince them of the change in his heart. He went on bended knee to ask forgiveness.

It reminded me of my relationships. I know how it feels to admit I was wrong and try to “clean things up.” Those words “I’m sorry” are difficult to say sometimes.

I think of how hard it is to say those words when I am feeling the disappointment of my mistakes and sins. When I pray and think of my Savior Jesus Christ I am filled with gratitude for all that he has done for me, and the remorse inside for all the pain that I added to His infinite Atonement because of my mistakes and sins.

The words of the song are reminiscent of those feelings of trying to clean up a relationship with my Father in Heaven as well as the relationships with those I love all around me. “Here I am” is written from the heart.

~Jared